In the past recent visits with my mother, she has been desperately been "nagging" me to go to this new church with her. I fear she fears that I am damned if I do not go. I naturally get frustrated because I cannot explain to her that I am on a journey of finding my own faith by finding me.
I do not believe that I cannot have faith unless I attend a scheduled grouping of faith followers. Although my faith may be different then my mother's I still have faith. I still pray and believe in something greater than me. I believe there is a plan for each and everyone of us, but we still have free will. I do believe each of our choices has consequences and that we should ask for forgiveness when we have done wrong.
I believe that I am overall honest and a caring person like my mothers faith would want me to be. SO why cant she see that I am not damned? Why doesn't she have faith in ME that I practice what I was grown to believe? Why cant she accept that I have accumulated my own beliefs and I don't need a preacher to remind me every Sunday.
I do believe; I just don't like the idea of church. That last church that i was really pumped about turned out to be a big lie. The pastor was not concentrated on faith. It seemed as though she was preaching just her own beliefs and not what our religion believed. Once I realized this church was meaningless and depressing day. Each day we went i felt like i was in a deep state of mourning.
Without a church I don't have to be flooded with everyone's sadness and struggles. I can practice my faith everyday. My way is a happier on your own way but still learning to care about others. I hope one day my mother will understand and let me find my own path.
2 comments:
I have printed your blogs and have decided to take them home to read and then I will respond as soon as I can to them. I can not believe that our mom is in the high tech world now "blogging" can you? I will respond really soon, all I want to say right now is that Tell Joe you may not have any older brothers but that if he hurts you he will have to go through me because I have assumed that role.
Finding Faith
Being on a journey to find your own faith by yourself is an honorable and respected statement, that is defiantly what you need to be doing. However shutting out others advice, opinions, and beliefs is nothing less than being naïve. Your mother cares so much about you that she is doing what the Lord tells us to do and that is to spread the gospel to others and help them find the truth and love of Jesus.
Being honest and caring person does not equal having faith. The lord does tell us to raise our children in his way knowing him and when they are grown that they will not stray away. I believe that is what your mother has done and is continuing to do.
What beliefs have you accumulated and whom and where did you acquire these beliefs from?
You state that you do not like the idea of church. I know that your last church has left a bad taste in your mouth about churches however you should not give up on finding a church that supports what it is that you believe in. With in the next week or so I will be documenting the reasons I believe that having a supportive church and being an active member is so vital to you salvation and to your spiritual growth.
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