Finding Faith

In the past recent visits with my mother, she has been desperately been "nagging" me to go to this new church with her. I fear she fears that I am damned if I do not go. I naturally get frustrated because I cannot explain to her that I am on a journey of finding my own faith by finding me.

I do not believe that I cannot have faith unless I attend a scheduled grouping of faith followers. Although my faith may be different then my mother's I still have faith. I still pray and believe in something greater than me. I believe there is a plan for each and everyone of us, but we still have free will. I do believe each of our choices has consequences and that we should ask for forgiveness when we have done wrong.

I believe that I am overall honest and a caring person like my mothers faith would want me to be. SO why cant she see that I am not damned? Why doesn't she have faith in ME that I practice what I was grown to believe? Why cant she accept that I have accumulated my own beliefs and I don't need a preacher to remind me every Sunday.

I do believe; I just don't like the idea of church. That last church that i was really pumped about turned out to be a big lie. The pastor was not concentrated on faith. It seemed as though she was preaching just her own beliefs and not what our religion believed. Once I realized this church was meaningless and depressing day. Each day we went i felt like i was in a deep state of mourning.

Without a church I don't have to be flooded with everyone's sadness and struggles. I can practice my faith everyday. My way is a happier on your own way but still learning to care about others. I hope one day my mother will understand and let me find my own path.