Baking with Fire and Smoke

Today I decided I was finally going to make the apple pie I promised joe i would make. This will be the first time I've baked anthing for him in this house. So naturally I had some difficulties finding the proper utensils to make this delicious pie. After basically washing every dish and measuring cup I needed I was finally ready to make the pie.

It was going great until I realized we didn't have a rolling pin. No need to worry a cold water bottle did even better! So the pie was all constructed and ready for baking. Time to preheat the oven! So, ok turn this knob to 425 and that should do it.

With in seconds the doorbell rings. Im covered in flour and unshowered! YIKES!!! oh its ok no one too cute. Just the Schawns guy trying to sell me something. I tried to tell him i was a little tied up but he insisted. AS i was falling for his scheme but still trying to shoo him away I smelled something burning. I looked over at the stove and saw smoke coming from the burners. but the Schwans man wouldnt leave me alone. I finally said excuse me my cat is overcooking in the oven.

Ok so no I didnt say that exactly but I rudely excused myself and slammed the door in his face. I ran over to the oven and opened it up. A black billow of smoke escaped and set off two fire alarms in the duplex. I panicked. I screamed for my roomate but she was in the shower. Imagine how freaked she must have been. So im standing under the fire alarm with a cardboard box jumping up and down waving the smoke away. It wasnt working and the more it wasnt working the more freaked out I got. It was hard to see in the kitchen wich also made it hard to think.

I finally grabbed a chair and turned it off- the noise stopped and i collapsed on the floor in exhaustion. My roomate ran down the stairs and all i could do was laugh. i told her dont worry the pie is not burned. After the smoke cleared I investigated the scene. Something was burnt and crusted to the bottom of the oven and it stunk. In about five minutes after that I heard fire trucks outside.

OMG how could this happen. I was freaking out. But then the fire trucks went past the house and i was relieved. How embarrassing would that have been... So the story ends I had to bake the pie in this tiny conventional oven. and it worked and my pie looks the best I ve ever made. I think Joseph will be proud of me and i will leave out the whole almost burning down the house fire truck incident!!

Pretend Wife

So I am currently living with my boyfriend of a little over two months. Even I'm shocked about this. I don't really know how anyone else close to me feels about the situation, but I feel like i have to insure them that everything is OK And so far it has been.

Joseph is very patient and understanding and very caring. What he says he enjoys most about living with me is that he feels like a protector over me. Whatever boost his cheesy ego i guess.

Joseph is a hard worker and very motivated. What i like about him best is that he is wise with his money and he knows money doesn't come without hard work. Although I'm sure his current occupation isn't his dream he puts his all into it. And he puts his all into taking care of me.

Joseph and I had very different childhoods. And sometimes its hard to explain to him why things in my childhood are hard to talk about, but he is a very good listener and is going to be there when I'm ready to talk. Joseph was very sheltered as a kid so many of my past experiences are hard for him to believe.

I enjoy each day with him, as we grow together and teach each other new things and share our favorite memories together. Joseph works days and I work nights so all day I try to clean and have supper ready for him when he gets home. I want the few minutes we have together before I leave for work to be special. I know he appreciates this and he does his part to make my coming home from work special too. I'm very grateful of him and so happy he is in my life.

If I learned anything about healthy relationships it would be from my mother and my stepfather. In a lot of ways I see same characteristics in Joseph and my stepfather Loren. They are both dorks, keep there commitments, wise with money, patient, and understanding. I hope my family approves of Joseph because he means a lot to me.

Finding Faith

In the past recent visits with my mother, she has been desperately been "nagging" me to go to this new church with her. I fear she fears that I am damned if I do not go. I naturally get frustrated because I cannot explain to her that I am on a journey of finding my own faith by finding me.

I do not believe that I cannot have faith unless I attend a scheduled grouping of faith followers. Although my faith may be different then my mother's I still have faith. I still pray and believe in something greater than me. I believe there is a plan for each and everyone of us, but we still have free will. I do believe each of our choices has consequences and that we should ask for forgiveness when we have done wrong.

I believe that I am overall honest and a caring person like my mothers faith would want me to be. SO why cant she see that I am not damned? Why doesn't she have faith in ME that I practice what I was grown to believe? Why cant she accept that I have accumulated my own beliefs and I don't need a preacher to remind me every Sunday.

I do believe; I just don't like the idea of church. That last church that i was really pumped about turned out to be a big lie. The pastor was not concentrated on faith. It seemed as though she was preaching just her own beliefs and not what our religion believed. Once I realized this church was meaningless and depressing day. Each day we went i felt like i was in a deep state of mourning.

Without a church I don't have to be flooded with everyone's sadness and struggles. I can practice my faith everyday. My way is a happier on your own way but still learning to care about others. I hope one day my mother will understand and let me find my own path.